Just like waves

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One year, three months, today.
I still count, every day, every month, every year 'cause you still in my heart, in my head.
I loved you and I still love. You're just like the waves, sometimes all of you come to me and let me down, sometimes all of you go and leaves me so peaceful.
I like when I'm peaceful, I don't know why...maybe I just like because it's rare.
I would like to see you, one day...who knows?! I would like to have a chance to touch in your heart again, revive every of the past, make true every dream, every plan.
Sometimes in bed, I lay my head on the pillow and I think...about you, about everything I lived with you, about our fights, the good moments, about how the things could be if everything were different. I ask myself if you remember me, I remember your worst words and I stay imagine if you really wanted say everything you said to me.
And I regret, for the times I had doubts and push you away from me, 'cause I had afraid to being hurt, afraid I became fragile and not be strong enough to fight for us, for the distance between us. I always have afraid and it don't let me follow the paths I want.
I hope you one day think about me, smile and forgive me.
I forgive you, but never forget you.

With love,

S.